How to Rebuild Rhythms of Connection in Your Marriage
Some habits are slow to build.
Not because we don’t care.
But because the season hasn’t made space for them.
Or we’ve poured ourselves into everyone else first.
That’s the story of this habit - one I’m still learning to live into.
When the Baby Season Ends…and the Rebuilding Begins
We’re past the baby-and-toddler years now.
There’s more sleep. A little more space.
A bit more energy.
And yet…
We’ve realized how easy it is to fill that space with logistics.
To default to managing tasks instead of nurturing connection.
We’re teammates, yes.
But over time, our teamwork began to look more like calendars and grocery lists than concerts and coffee dates.
Maybe you know that feeling, too?
A Quiet Wake-Up Call
Recently, my husband and I paused to name what was missing.
Not in a crisis sort of way but in an honest, “we miss each other” kind of way.
We talked about what we want this year to look like.
Not just for our family.
But for us.
For our marriage.
What kind of rhythm do we want to rebuild?
How do we make space not just for parenting but for play?
Three Questions That Helped Us Reconnect
As we sat down together, these questions helped guide our conversation:
What worked well for us last year?
Even small wins are worth naming. Think: weekly walks, shared projects, moments of joy.What got in the way?
Was it schedules? Energy? Busyness? Name it without shame just curiosity.What do we need more of this year?
Laughter? Time alone? Shared hobbies? Physical touch? Let your answers shape what matters next.
Why “Play” Matters in Marriage
There’s a saying I’ve heard more than once:
“Couples that play together, stay together.”
And I think there’s truth there.
Because play invites joy.
Joy invites connection.
And connection builds the kind of foundation that carries you through life’s harder moments.
Play doesn’t have to be extravagant.
Sometimes it’s a walk around the block.
Sharing a dessert after the kids go to bed.
Putting on a playlist that brings you back to the early years.
What matters is presence.
Being fully there. Together.
The Rhythm We’re Rebuilding
We’re still figuring it out.
But we’ve started naming what fills us and scheduling more of that.
We’re not aiming for more to-dos.
Just more togetherness.
And not the kind that’s crammed into already-full calendars.
The kind that feels like a deep exhale.
A Gentle Invitation for You
If this resonates…
If you’ve felt the drift or want to be more intentional about your relationship this year…
Let this be your gentle nudge.
You don’t have to overhaul your marriage.
But you can choose one small habit that invites joy or connection.
And if you're not sure what that looks like, I’d be honored to walk with you.
We’ll look at your rhythms, values, and hopes and gently realign them with the life God is inviting you into.
Because every relationship deserves a rhythm of connection.
Especially yours.
Melina is the founder of Melina Kane Coaching, a certified Christian Life Coach in Texas (servicing Austin, Cedar Park, Round Rock, Georgetown, and Pflugerville). She loves helping Christian women anchor their homes, hearts, and habits in God’s design for their life. She’s an Enneagram 2 + recovering perfectionist who’s never met a stranger, so come say Hi! on Instagram @melinakanecoaching.
